Letters to Nico – Yourself
by eli soto
I keep a leather bound journal that I intend to fill with wisdom I want to pass to my son. When he is 18, this will be a multi-year gift that I hope he takes with him on his own journey through life. Hopefully, in the time between now and then I can plant the seeds of these truths into his heart & mind.
Querido Nico,
The foundation of moving through life begins with knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and loving yourself for who you are. Of the many lessons you’ll have to learn – this is of the highest importance.
A lot of people try to become what others think they should be. Tremendous amounts of energy is wasted trying to create someone else’s picture of an ideal life. Living another’s dream will leave a person feeling incomplete, without an understanding of why. People end up feeling like something’s missing in life because they never truly get to know themselves. Unfortunately, because of a lack of self-knowledge, people never truly accept themselves nor fall in love with who they are.
You are unique. There will never be someone like you again. No one can know you as well as you can. Not me…not your mother. You will be with yourself longer than anyone on the planet. So observe, accept and love.
Observe
In everyday life, pay attention to where your energy is focused. What a person says, thinks and does will determine who they become. So observe what naturally draws your attention. These are clues to discovering your highest values and purpose.
In this lifetime, everyone is here for a specific reason. Everyone has been given a unique set of skills, personality traits and purpose that makes them better at doing something that nobody else can do. So observe carefully and patiently. Time, feelings, and ego are the lens for self reflection. For this reason, self-discovery requires patience, and one must never stop observing.
Accept
Observe any thoughts, words, and actions that lead to self-discovery without judgement. It is tempting to compare what is noticed in self-observation to the characteristics of others. Let that go. You are not inadequate in any measure. You have been given exactly what you need to fulfill your purpose. Except for one thing – the answer to your purpose. You must discover this for yourself! Observe without comparison or condemnation so you can get to know and accept yourself more quickly.
There will be times when something that is said, thought, or done won’t feel good. This is the body’s way to telling you that what happened is out of alignment with who you really are. Your inner being won’t let it go unnoticed. Rather than dwelling in self-condemnation, learn the lessons, take responsibility for yourself and make it right with anyone affected. Lastly, let go of whatever it was so you can accept and enjoy who you are!
Love
This should be the easiest of these three steps. Because once you KNOW yourself and have completely ACCEPTED yourself, then falling in LOVE with who you are comes naturally. Loving yourself keeps the course of fulfillment to your purpose, because you will be unshakable.
Like attracts like, so with love for yourself, you will attract love. Love can come in the form of people, mission, and environment. Love is the most important feeling you will ever experience. Seek it and you will find unfathomable energy.
Yourself as a Guide
Think of these three steps as building blocks for your foundation. When a situation or a person intersects with your life, it will become easier to know if you should stay or walk away. Don’t feel badly about sacrificing an opportunity if it’s out of alignment with who you truly are. If you do step off your foundation to do something that conflicts with who you are, then it will dim your light with each passing moment. You’ll know you’re out of alignment because it won’t feel good inside.
If you don’t accept yourself then you cannot love yourself. If you don’t know yourself, then there’s no one to love. But when you do all three – Nico, you will get more enjoyment out of life! You will find your direction and purpose with such ease. Furthermore, you will become a beacon sending a signal to attract all that is necessary for you to fulfill your purpose and happiness because there will never be anyone like you…so be the full measure of the man you were meant to be.
I love you son,
Dad